One diagnosis down, one more to go.
You know, a lot of people don’t take mental health seriously and sweep shit so far under the rug and pray their problems go away it makes me sad. Those people are just so fucking miserable and they don’t even fully understand why. Relationships crumble and they lose their sense of self. It kills me.
Mostly because I used to be one of them.
Until today that is.
25 years in the making and I finally have answers. It’s so liberating and terrifying and complex but I’m so so thankful I have answers and even more so thankful to have a plan of action to move forward. I’m elated that I’m going to get the tools to be a better person and to love myself again.
Again feel free to check out my other blog to get the full details. (aliciafilippone.blogspot.com)
I’m just so fucking relieved I’ve got answers for my mental health because my physical health is in the shitter too and I can’t keep trying to balance both. I’m tired. Haha Only two more weeks until I find out my latest round of test results then can start my course of treatment for my physical health.
Things are looking up.
I’ve been seeing all kinds of specialists for months now.
Blood work every three weeks. Ultrasounds and CT scans. You name it, I’ve done it.
But I’ve never been so fucking anxious for the appointment I have in the morning.
One step closer to answers though. Just need to keep telling myself that.
Jesus Christ it’s been awhile.
I forgot tumblr was even a thing for like what, a year?
Anyways
Life’s been crazy. From battling an auto immune disorder that is fucking up my kidneys and depleting me of any and all physical energy to having the most intense emotional experience of my life, it’s been a wild ride.
(To follow my crazy emotional journey, which I’m surprised I’m even sharing this but whatever it’s going to come out eventually, visit aliciafilippone.blogspot.com)
It’s been an incredibly hard couple of months and I’ve been tested in every sense of the word. I’m finally getting to a better place though and frankly that’s all I give a shit about.
I’ve missed you Tumblr. I really have.
I haven’t been in a funk this bad since my grandma died.
And I can’t shake it.
Ugh.
